Sadya

Ano ba ang silbi ko?
Ni hindi ko maaatim na isipin
Na sa bawat taong nakasama
Nakausap, nakatawanan
ay ginamit ako
sa pansarili
Di ko matanggap
Di ko matiis
Ni hindi ko masabi ang nararamdaman
Kung gaano kapait
Kasakit
Kahapdi
Ang malaman
Na ang tinuring mong sadya
ang maglulugmok
sa akin tuwina.

Nothing At All

I may be a point
A tiny dot on a map
Which can merely be seen from the sky

I may be a dust
A particle floating in mid-air
Which can merely be touched by our hand

I may be no one
A person who relies on many things
Who seems to be there when you need

I may be nothing
A creature of disguise
Who seems to fall too hollow on a trap

I may be
A space
a breeze or a chill
a lone dark of suppress
So tiny in vast,
nevertheless
Nothing.

Tama Ka

“Kung nakakasigaw lang ang iyong kunsensya, marahil ay minumura ka na niya”

Tama ka. Isa akong hunghang. Isa akong tanga. Isa akong mangmang.
Tama ka. Langit ka. Hindi kita kabanghay. Mataas ka. Hindi kita kailanman maabot.

Tama ka. Maraming negatibo sa akin. Maraming masasabi ang iba na masama. Maraming putik sa aking budhi. Demonyo ako. Masama akong tao.

Tama ka. Dapat kitang sambahin. Dapat kitang luhuran. Dapat kitang alayan ng baka’t tupa.

Tama ka. Alipin ako. Dapat kitang paglingkuran. Mababa akong tao. Dapat akong pak-apakan.

Tama ka. Hindi dapat ako namamalagi sa mundo. Dapat na ako maglaho. Wala akong kwenta.

Tama ka. Panaginip lang ang lahat. Dapat huwag ako maniniwala sa akong sarili. Dapat magsinungaling ang aking konsensya.

Tama ka. Sa bawat kapintasan na sinaboy ng Diyos sa lupa, sinambot ko ang lahat.

Tama ka. Alikabok lang ako sa iyong mundo. Dapat mo akong puksain. Dapat mo akong punasan at pigain sa kanal.

Tama ka. Basura ako. Nangangamoy na parang patay na daga. Umaalingasaw na sangsang ng isda.

Tama ka. Basahan lang ako. dapat mo akong ipampunas sa iyong dumi. Isubasob sa putik sa iyong sapatos.

Tama ka. Gago lang ang taong mangangarap sa iyo.

Tama ka. Isa akong tae. Taeng natuyo sa daan. Tigang. NIlalayuan ng tao.

Tama ka. Ako ay ako. Tae ng Kabayo. Isang nilalang na labis mong nilugmok.

Tama ka. Tama ka. Tama ka.

“Kung mabubuhay man akong muli, bubuhusan ko ng tae ang iyong puntod”

Huwag mo akong Biruin

Sa kabila ng aking pangit na itsura

Ano nga ba ang makikita mo sa’king mukha?

Nararamdaman mo ba ang pait sa aking mata?

O ang sidhi ng galit sa aking mga salita?

Marahil walang bakas ng poot sa aking tuyong luha

Ngunit tahimik din akong nasasaktan

Ang dating ligaya na aking nadarama

Ay napalitan ng kagustuhang, ‘kaw ay mapaslang

Ginutay-gutay mo ang aking diwa

Habang napupunit ang aking bawat laman

Nalugmok ako’t di na makahinga

Pati ang pintig ng aking puso’y tila nawala

Ano pa ba ang nais mong iparanas?

Ano pa bang sakit ang dapat kong maramdaman?

Hindi pa ba sapat ang lahat-lahat?

Hindi ka pa ba natutuwa sa iyong nagawa?

OO! Marahil nag-iilusyon lang ako sa mga bagay-bagay

Marahil naging Diyos ako sa sarili kong lugar

Ngunit sino ka para sirain ang aking mga pangarap?

Pangarap na ikaw mismo ang nilalaman

Sa bawat oras na ika’y aking nakikita....

Gusto kitang talupan ng balat.....

Sabuyan ng kumukulong mantika sa mukha....

At dukutin ang dalawa mong mapanlinlang na mata..

Nais kong hugutin ang iyong mga bituka..

Tutukan ka at barilin sa may tagiliran..

Durugin ang bawat mong buto at laman
Pagapangin ka sa bubog at alab
Lahat ng sakit na aking nadama,..
Nais kong ibalik sayo ng mas malala

Sa bawat sandali na aking maaalala ang lahat...

Lalong naguumapaw ang galit sa aking mga kamay

Huwag na huwag ka ng magpapakita sa akin kailanman..

Baka hindi ko mapagtanto... at ikaw ay aking lagutan ng hininga.

Droga sa Puso, Paalam Sinisinta

Minsan sa buhay ng tao, may pagkakamaling nagagawa

Isang pahina sa buhay ng tao, may nangyayaring di inaasahan

Minsa sa puso ng tao, may nanghihimasok, may nasasaktan

Isang kabanata sa buhay ng tao, matututo kang magmahal



Masama ka! Malupit ka! Mayabang ka!

Isa kang drogang kailangang mapuksa

Drogang kinababaliwan ng puso ko tuwina

Drogang kinaaadikan ng isip ko sa araw-araw



Salbahe ka, mapait ka sa pusong iniwan mong sugatan

Malubha ka pa sa demonyong napapaloob sa lupa

Ngunit bakit hindi ko kayang iwasang tingnan

Ang mukha mong anghel kapag mahimbing sa pagkakahiga



Gamot kita sa mga oras ng kalungkutan

Lunas ka sa bawat pighating aking nararamdaman

Isang ngiti mo lang at ang dinadamdam ay mawawala

Isang titig mo lang at ang hapdi ay gumaling na



Hindi ka perpekto tulad ng iba

Ngunit ang puso ko’y tuluyan mong nabihag

Hindi ka kasing kaaya-aya tulad ng iba

Ngunit ang puso ko’y iyong napana



Isang lingo ng masayang panaginip

Limang araw ng saya at pighati

Dalawang gabi ng nakaw na sulyap at ngiti

Isang pagkakataong tumatak sa aking isip



Napag-isip-isip at aking natanto

Tayo ay hindi para sa isa’t isa

Isa ka lamang ilusyon ng aking malawak na diwa

Isa ka lamang pagkakamali na dapat ay di nagawa



Paalam aking droga, Paalam aking sinisinta

Iniwan mo akong lugmok sa kalungkutan

Puso koy naging asul habang tulala sa kalangitan

Habang tinatahak ang landas palayo sayo tuwina



Paalam aking droga, Paalam aking sinisinta

Nawa’y maging maligaya ka sa piling ng iba

Nangangako ako na malilimutan kita

Kahit masakit, Kahit mahirap



Anghel nga kita, demonyo ka na aking kalaban

Dito sa puso ko’y di ka mawawala

Huwag kang iiyak kapag ikaw ay nasaktan

Dahil di ko kayang Makita kang nagdurusa



Kung ito ay iyong mabasa, tandaan mo

Pagkakamali kita na dapat malimot

Lalakad ako sa dati kong daang kinagisnan

Droga ng aking puso, Paalam sinisinta

A Touch of Million Words - a Mute Mother’s Love

“The foundation of your life, source of your being, nurturer of your soul, and your pillar of strength – a mother”

I realized that I was in the middle of nowhere, a place with nothing but thin air. I closed my eyes and tried to sense my surroundings. I felt the cold breeze kissed my cheek. I shivered. Just as my Goosebumps rose, I slowly heard chirps of an unknown bird followed by a splash of sea wave. I continued to listen. I heard a whisper, a very familiar voice. I opened my eyes and the light stroke my young and easily dazed eyes. I saw a breathtaking view, a brilliant place – the Eden. Stunned by what I saw, a pat on my shoulder broke my silence. I looked at my back and saw a recognizable face and I know she was responsible for what I have now. She hugged me and the cold vanished. I knew that I am safe as I felt the warmth, her love. Our strength and our weakness, that’s how I define her.

A woman can be an adept artist, a justice protector, a social developer, an agile dancer, a gourmet cook, a knowledge educator or any profession a lady can achieved but there is a certain job that makes every woman pleased - being a mother. It is probably the most praiseworthy job a woman could have. It is like a superhero’s deed. It sounds easy but really hard to do and a big responsibility.

Being a mother and raising a child is not that simple since she wholeheartedly accepted the lifetime responsibility to take care of her offspring during the time she knew about her pregnancy. She cherishes her young like her treasure, a gem of magnificence and grace from God. For her, a child is the continuation of her life and half of her being.

Her eyes are focused on us. She reads every chapter of our life. She was there the time we first stood up and she became our crutches. She almost cried at the moment we first said ‘Mama’. She was trembled when she heard us cry. She was there to shed our tear and our fear. She served as the umbrella during the rainy times of our life. She became our shadow, present always at our side. She always stood up for us. She healed all of our wounds with her kiss. She was like our diary to which we share all of our hurts and happiness. Perhaps, night and day is not enough for her to express her love towards us but takes only a single touch to show her passion. To alleviate a child’s sleepyhead, a mother hums her sweet and dearest lullaby which in every tune lies beneath a tender love. It was the first song we memorized – the first song we adored and begging to hear for.

“Son” a single call of your name means a lot of care from your mother. “Don’t do that!” even her tiniest moral instruction worth a thousand worries. For her to show her feelings, she needs to speak out. She began to talk like a machine gun, always nagging you about your bad habit. She always saw your mistakes. Usually because of our stubborn nature, we have mistaken it to be an immoral character of our mother, her wicked side. We started to hate her and curse her. You felt that you’re trapped in a den where she is the lion and you are a sheep. You want to break free from her regulations and your limitations. Finally, you ran away from her.

You decided to walk to a different path where there are no signs of her and her thunder-like voice. While changing path, you realized something odd about you like there is something missing – a part of you. You passed by a mirror and suddenly you stop. You eyed yourself very closely. You are relieved that you’re still in your whole being. As you enjoy your liberty, you abruptly heard a boy crying. You look around and saw a familiar face. You recognized that you have resemblance to him, same nose, same hair, same skin tone, same eyes and same lips. Being in the state of imbecile, you saw a woman approaching the small boy. She starts to make some hand signals to comfort the child. You are wonder-struck. That woman supposed to be your mother and now she is mute – a voiceless person.

The whole thing disappeared and the whole place is filled with darkness.

Out of nowhere, you saw a book. It has no title. You flipped the cover and noticed the first page is blank. A known song started to play and a picture of a woman carrying a baby was slowly sketched in the blank page. That song turned to be a lullaby. At the next pages, you saw how the woman took care of that child with her full strength and admiration. Hatred to yourself started to engulf your conscience. The book was unfinished and has no ending.

You felt a light tap on your shoulder. As you look at your back, standing there was the mute woman with her lonely eyes. She can’t speak a word. On that single touch, a million words started to spring out of your mind. She wanted to tell you everything, to come back, to say she misses you, to know how are you doing, to ask if you’re doing fine and specially to tell you that she loves you more than any treasure in the world, but she can’t. She can never call your name again. You will never hear her nagging again. You will never hear anything from her anymore. Tears started to flow in your face. Clemency for your mute mother emerged in your mind.

You talked to yourself and think about everything you’ve done to hurt your mother’s feelings. Is it self-fulfilling or self-regretting? You reflected twice and apprehended that the absence of your mother makes you insufficient and deficit.

You hold your breath and search your way back home. Twenty steps afar form your door stand your mother, waiting for your comeback. She approached you with your head down. She gently tapped again your shoulder saying “It’s ok”

A mother shows her love more on actions that words. Even she doesn’t say a word; a gentle touch would mean everything. Life defined its limitation at all cost. One day she will hold your hands and give a touch saying “Goodbye”

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to it to my Mother." – Abraham Lincoln

Raflesya: Humahalimuyak sa Ganda, IKALAWANG BAHAGI

“Wag mo na pagnasaan si Timoteo.. di hamak na siya ay isda at isa ka lang uling!” bulaslas ni Katy

“Puwes.. kung uling ako at isda siya.. iihawin ko sya…”

“Boba! Abo ka na lang”

“Edi gagawin ko syang daing”

“Tanga! Nabuhusan ka na ng tubig”

“Edi naging sinabawang daing”

“Haynako nahaluan ka na ng laway ni Mr. Lee.. POKPOK”

“Engot ka pala eh… edi mas masarap.. paksiw na daing..”

.. “Miss.. palda mo oh..”.. inabot ni Timoteo ang lumipad na palda ni Raflesya

Hindi nakasagot si Iya at tinitigan na lamang niya ang mga kumukutitap na mata ni Timoteo

“Binibini una na ako.. kailangan ko pang pumunta sa hacienda”

Sinundan na lamang ng nanlilisik na mata ni Iya ang papaalis na binata..

<<>>

“Buwisit naman oh.. ang taas ng bunga ng papaya”

“Kasing taas ng mga tala sa langit… parang ikaw”

“Hoy Berto tigilan mo ako ha.. itong di ko maabot yung papaya”

“Parang ikaw…. Sun Cellular.. DI KO MA-REACH”

“Hoy Berto.. sabihin mo lang kung gusto mo pang mabuhay”

“Matagal na akong patay… binihag mo na kasi puso ko”

“Berto.. para kang libag”

“LIBAG??! Dahil ba lagi akong nakadikit sayo???”

“ANG SARAP MONG HILURIN…. King ina… umalis ka na nga”

… umalis si Berto at inakyat na ni Raflesya ang puno ng papaya.. kahit nakapalda lang at walang panty…

Biglang may napadaan…

“Miss… baba ka nga muna dito”

“Anu bang proble……” natigilan si Raflesya ng nakita na si Timoteo ang kanyang kausap

“Umaakyat ka ng puno kahit nakapalda ka lang at walang panty?”

“Hindi ba obvious?? Baka gusto mo ng demo ulit??”

“Maraming manyak dito sa hacienda namin.. baka mapagtripan ka.. tsaka may mga batang gumagala dito.. baka tiraduhin yang **** mo at mapagkamalang ibon”

“Ah ganun ba.. sige sa susunod tatapalan ko na lang ng dahon ng is-is itong **** ko”

“Wag na.. di ka ba makabili ng panty?”

“Oo eh.. wala kaming pera ni inay..”

“O eto 100.. pambili ng panty mo”

“Nakakahiya.. baka akalain nila.. babaeng bayaran ako…”

“Gusto mo ba o ayaw mo..”

Tumakbo papunta sa bahay nila si Raflesya dala-dala ang 100…

“Ulikba.. nasan na ang papaya??”

“Inay.. may 100 ako…!!”

“Iya… pumasok ka sa club ni Mr. Lee??!”

“Hindi po inay.. binigay po ni Timoteo”

“Ayyyy… patingin nga… dinugo ka ba?”

“Mali iniisip nyo nay..”

At kinuwento ni Raflesya ang buong nangyari… Sobrang natuwa ang kanyang ina at nagsuot siya ng palda at tinanggal ang panty… Pumunta na siya sa puno ng papaya para gawin din ang ginawa ng anak at umaasa sya nab aka bigyan din sya ng perang pambili ng panty… Nang biglang dumaan si Timoteo..

“Ale bumaba nga po kayo…”